One of the most liberating realizations in my career has been this: I am not my work.

Once I oversaw a paid subscriber acquisition campaign that didn't perform as well as a previous one before it. My direct supervisor looked at the results and said without hesitation, “Yeah, that performed terribly.”

I know people who would have taken that personally. They would have been down the rest of the day, questioning their abilities and value. But my immediate reaction was, "Let's look into why." It wasn't personal because I'm not the campaign—I'm the person they hired to run campaigns and learn from them.

This mindset didn't come naturally. It took years to develop. But it's been crucial for my growth as a leader and as a professional.

When someone criticizes your work, they're commenting on the work—not on you as a person. The key thing to remember is that you were hired for this role for a reason. Your employer or your team trusts you to take feedback, learn from it, and do better next time.

Once you internalize that, feedback becomes data, not danger.

This applies to everything: a newsletter that doesn't land, an event that has low turnout, a strategy that doesn't work. These aren't reflections of your worth. They're data points that help you improve.

I'm also lucky in that the people I work with know I can handle direct feedback. As leaders, we give people the feedback we believe they can handle. When someone is straight with me, it's because they trust I won't take it the wrong way—and that trust is valuable.

The same principle applies to growth opportunities. We shouldn't wait until someone is 100% ready to put them in a challenging role. Put them in when they're 80% ready, give them support, and watch them grow into the position. That discomfort is where development happens.

Separating yourself from your work is freeing. It lets you take bigger risks, accept honest feedback, and ultimately produce better results.

Because when you're not defending your ego, you can focus on solving the actual problem.