People often ask me about charisma or confidence, but I think they're asking the wrong question. It's not really about being confident—it's about being comfortable.

I'm comfortable walking into any room and talking to anyone. I'm comfortable grabbing a mic and speaking to a crowd. I'm comfortable striking up a conversation with a stranger at an event. That comfort is what people sometimes read as charisma, but it's really just ease.

How did I get here? Practice and genuine curiosity.

Growing up in Winchester, everyone knew who I was. I got used to talking to anyone and everyone in town. Then in university, I got comfortable walking into the journalism department and asking to learn, even though I wasn't accepted into the program. Each experience built on the last.

I remember giving a presentation on how to use LinkedIn at Carleton University in the early 2000s—back when LinkedIn was brand new and no one was using it. I was so nervous. My heart was pounding. I specifically remember the room and how anxious I felt. That was probably one of my first professional presentations.

Now? I speak in front of large groups all the time, and it's not even a thing anymore. But it wasn't always like that.

That's the key insight: comfort comes with practice. You're not born with it (or at least, most of us aren't). You develop it by repeatedly putting yourself in uncomfortable situations until they become comfortable.

Every time you introduce yourself to a stranger, you get a little better at it. Every time you share an idea in a meeting, it gets a little easier. Every time you speak up, you build the muscle.

The good news is that everyone starts somewhere. That person who seems effortlessly charismatic at networking events? They were probably terrified the first time too. They just kept showing up.

So if you're nervous about going to that event or speaking up in that meeting, remember: everyone feels that way initially. The difference between people who seem comfortable and people who don't isn't talent—it's just repetition.

Keep practicing. The comfort will come.